Update

Hi all! It's been a while since my last post and the time that I have been away has been so eventful for me consisting of college work, submissions, work and having a little bit of fun. Thank God I have a day off today (hence why I can blog hahahaha). I must say that I have been just doing me and focusing on my happiness which is what I want to maintain.

I have some plans coming up but one of my most exciting plans is to go to makeup school and I have started saving money for this. I really want to learn so much more when it comes to makeup. I feel like very soon, I want to start doing more work when it comes to the makeup artistry and for me to master it to my full capability is my goal and I know I have the potential to fulfill this. The courses are super expensive especially for a broke ass nigga like me (lmao) but everything is possible and with the power of God, it shall happen. I'm also super proud of myself for building so much connections in the art of makeup and I'm meeting people that are willing to get me to a place where I'm able to start freelancing. Though I'm very nervous to start doing freelance makeup, I'm brave enough to embark on the first steps. I second guess myself a lot of the times and just don't think I'm good enough like the girls I see on youtube, people I follow on instagram that do makeup and sometimes I feel like I am wasting my time because being a makeup artist is now a popular trend nowadays and everyone is doing it and I have this feeling like my talent will not be noticed(if that makes sense). Nevertheless, my heart is calling towards this and my dreams is to do makeup professionally and that's that.

I am also in great confusion about my university course. I have decided that I don't really want to go to UCA anymore because I don't want to move out of London and also because I don't think I'm interested in studying fashion journalism. It is a course that I would have fun doing but I just feel like doing a language course is something I'm more passionate in. I went to two open days at Westminster and actually liked the course they have with language. So i'm considering cancelling my application with UCA and applying to Westminster.

I am also focusing on my relationship with God and whilst analyzing everything that has occurred in my life, I give so much thanks to the almighty God for definitely protecting me and guiding me. Without Him, everything that I have achieved up till now will not be possible. For a 19 year old boy (turning 20 next month boooyah) to survive on his own in a fast pace city where everyone is ambitious chasing their dreams and aspirations can be a bit scary and difficult. But because God has been on my side, I am doing okay and will continue to prosper in everything that I set my hands on. Therefore, the least I can do is praise his name.

I went to a church near my workplace called Hillsong and fell in love with it. The church is very different from the past churches that I have been to and the main reason is because it is a mainly diverse church with a mixture of different cultures and races unlike the African churches that I am accustomed to. I used to be an avid church goer and went to church regularly on Sundays and bible studies as well. However, I was always very uncomfortable going to an African church because it is a mix of our mentality. Rather than focusing on the word of God, I felt judged by the pastor and my fellow church members because I was gay. Now I never was out to them, but I felt guilty sitting down in the same seats as them agreeing with them when they would preach that homosexuality is wrong. For I am gay male, I didn't feel good with myself. So I just stopped going.

However, I still have immense faith in God and though I may live a lifestyle against my belief, for me it is not an excuse not to worship God and I shall do so until the end of my life whether I'm judged or not. I am a good person and do good deeds everyday of my life and that is how I live my life. Hillsong is a place where everyone is different and we all focus on one thing - praising God.

My head is literally in 100 different areas and it's so hard to lose focus sometimes, but...I know that there is going to be a happy ending to my story.